Overeating

“Three large portions of different dishes at a sitting?”

“This is the way to go bro!”

“It’s called gluttony.”

“I call it healthy overeating.”

“You’re overweight”

“That’s exactly my target.”

“Have you ever thought about what overeating can do to your health?”

“That’s bullshit”

“You will blow up like a large balloon if you continue to eat that way.”

“I won’t but if it happens, I will be the happiest person on earth.”

” Absurd! Do you know what some people go through to get rid of just a pound?”

“I dont care.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“You’re talking because you haven’t heard the story of my life.”

“What story?”

“When I was a teenager, I was pitiably skinny.”

“Hmmm”

“At school, they nicknamed me ‘bones’.”

“Huh?”

“Bones. Instead of Gladis, they called me bones.”

“That’s awful!”

“You can imagine the trauma I passed through knowing that name suited my appearance.”

“Students! Students!”

“I always asked my mum why I was that skinny.”

“She said it’s nature.”

“I asked nature many questions in private but got mocking silence. My mum said I was normal, said there was nothing wrong with me and that clinically I was just fine. She said I would grow fat in the future. I resorted to eating heavy meals several times a day until mum began to lock the kitchen against me. She said I could die of overeating. Yet I never added extra flesh to my ‘bones’.”

“Unbelievable.”

“My cheeks got a little bigger though.”

“Terrible”

“and my nickname changed.”

“To what?”

“Cheeks and bones!”

“That’s worse.”

“I felt so bad and skipped school.”

“Dear Lord!”

“No one in my lineage was like me, both paternal and maternal side. That got me thinking. Was I adopted? My prayer point was, ‘Oh Lord, make me fat’ and I whispered that prayer countless times a day.”

“Frankly, you had a traumatic childhood.”

“You can say that again.”

“So how did you become this fat?”

“Good question! I met this guy at a mall. We were an absolute description of what opposites should be. He walked to me and asked if I would like to add some flesh.”

“That’s insulting.”

” My only good friend at the time reacted to the question but had to relax when she saw I wasn’t offended. I asked the guy if he could help me. He said yes and we became good friends.

“How could anyone help?”

“Nothing is impossible. Listen first.”

“We scheduled for a meeting and when we met he gave me my routine and eating habits.”

“How old were you then?”

Twenty-three.”

“Hmmmm”

“The routine was for muscle building and strength training then Protein, protein and more protein, dense food, soda, doughnuts, weight gainer shakes, chocolates, bodybuilding supplement, eat big and often.”

“He could kill.”

“He was a professional, working with a work-out and bodybuilding centre.”

“The programme worked for you?”

“Yes, after eight months of the extensive program and lots of patience.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“You got an answer to your prayer.”

“Now everyone calls me beautiful.”

“What is your BMI?”

“26”

“You’re heading to obesity”

“Cool”

“Cool?”

“I love fat me so much and I don’t want anything to stand between me and my love and happiness.”

“Hey, now that you have gained some weight, work to see that you maintained a healthy weight.

“No chance”

“Please.”

“No”

“I will make sure no one in my generation passes through the same ordeal.”

“You must be spending a fortune on food.”

“It’s a necessity. No regrets.”

I can’t believe I’m exposing myself to a total stranger. What’s your name?”

“Call me James.”

“Married?”

“No”

“Why not”

“That’s a story for next day”

“Life’s full of stories.”

“Yeah.”

“I love this food! I love this restaurant!!”

“😲”

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