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We All Have Issues

Why do people answer every ” how are you doing” with “I’m doing great” or “Everything is going just fine?

If you ask the same person this question every day of three hundred and sixty-five days of the year, the answer remains the same, “Fine” ” great” “perfect” “lovely”.

You see someone crying at a corner and you approach the person and ask, “are you okay?” the answer will be “yes, I’m alright.” And if you’re not the type that knows how to force words out of the mouth of people, there it ends.

Are we always alright?

No!

Forgive me.

We’re not always fine. Sometimes we’re almost dead on the inside being smothered by a huge problem or multiple problems.

I’m not talking about minor issues but those pressing ones that go to bed with us, inject us with insomnia and cause us sleepless nights.

These issues sometimes abound in each one of us and we put a lovely mask over it to hide it perfectly from others.

We all put up these appearances because we dont want anyone to know we’re not okay.

We wear goggles to hide our teary eyes, smile at everyone, laugh hard at every small joke and appear super high spirited to cover it all. We do this because;

  • We feel that once someone knows about it, the whole world gets to know and that’s doom.
  • We don’t want to be mocked. We dont want anyone to make fun of us
  • We don’t want to bother anyone. We feel that once the person gets to know, he or she sees us as a burden.
  • We’re ashamed of sharing it. Just can’t stand the shame.
  • We want to blend in, fit in, maintain status and so on and opening up might kick us out of a relationship or group.

What happens when we keep it all inside?

We worry and when worry fails to work for us, we either get sick and die or end it all with our own hands.

Is it wise to share our problems with someone else?

Yes. Yes. Yes please.

Share your personal disturbing issues with a family member or a trusted friend or life coach.

I would rather share my problem with a family member or a good friend or even a special stranger than be destroyed by it.

I also like sharing issues with smart old people. They are good companies in all situations.

There must always be that one person you can pour your heart to. Someone who can at least help you see reasons to not worry too much.

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11 thoughts on “We All Have Issues Leave a comment

  1. Living in a continuing care retirement community in the assisted living area as I do, the dreaded “How are you?” is the greeting coin of the realm. Fellow residents (from the independent living area), nurses, aids, as well as all of the food service, cleaning, facility services, grounds staff, and the administrative staff all use it to say hello, I must answer that question superficially fifty times a day just walking through the many hallways of our main building. I recently read in the “Book of Joy” (a discussion on joy between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu), that the Archbishop said there was a tribe in Africa that says, “How are we?” instead. Not the, Royal We, like the condescending language a doctor might use, but rather the presumption that how you are feeling is how I am feeling, and vice versa. If we all lived inside of that kind of connectedness to one another, rather than the small circle of family and close friends most of us have to answer “How are you?”, truthfully, it would be a different, more joyful, world. I am working on that perspective, at least fifty times a day.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is quite insightful and inspiring. The greeting is really dreadful and must be hard for you to take every day from so many people but it’s okay because in my part of the world, once someone asks that question, the first thing that comes to mind is life, and as long as one is not in a casket beneath the grave, one is fine. No matter what one might be passing through at that moment, the answer is always “fine”, which means, I’m still breathing, so I’m fine.
      What Bishop said is true, in my area people ask, “how are we?” and this is used with humour and means we all are in this together, and the person asked was expected to answer, “we are fine.” that means, we are alive and so we are fine.
      Thanks a lot for such inspiring comment. I’m touched by it. I hope you get stronger and better each passing day.

      Like

    • Beautiful thoughts. What if there is no one around who is prepared to listen because everyone one is running around with their own issues and ignore it as yet another rantings. Or just simply being inconsiderate. This is often the case for mentally unstable who are not able to express their feelings coherently, the situation builds inside to such an unmanageable extent that is recognisable only when the situation becomes extreme leading to Manic conditions and also to conditions of extreme depression often leading to suicide attempts. How do we address this situation or how do we prevent this from happening? A typical situation, I wrote in my recent post as one of the initiatives for mental awareness month as to what these folks are facing in their day to day life handling it.

      You may kindly take a look into this to know more about them in my recent post titled:

      Manic Times –

      https://rajinikanthv.wordpress.com/2019/05/24/manic-times/

      Thank you very much for this wonderful post that has given me a chance to share my views.

      Liked by 1 person

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