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Forced Kindness

Being nice is good. Saying yes to every request one can handle is also nice because every act of kindness is fulfilling even when the process is sacrificial. The feeling of contentment follows every act of kindness.

But when on the contrary one feels regrets, sad and bitter before, during or after what was supposed to be an act of kindness, it means that it’s not done willingly and one shouldn’t do something good for someone else that one would regret doing.

But the thing is, ‘no’ is never an acceptable answer to a request. Some people look at the person who says no as bad. They won’t understand why.

If B asks A for something, something B knows A can offer, A is not expected to say no, he’s expected to say yes to continue to be that loving person.

If A says no to B’s request, it’s likely that B will feel bad and even take an offence, but in pretence may say, “it’s okay. I’ll manage” – an external show, deep inside B will be thinking, “You have what I’m asking for, yet you’ve denied me of it, you’re just being wicked.”

So instead of saying no, A might say yes and make a promise that he or she will end up not fulfilling for fear of being labelled ‘a bad person’.

But failing to keep a promise is worse than saying no to a request.

Personally I find saying no hard but breaking a promise brings tears to my eyes especially when there is nothing to do..

I choose to say no when I can’t be able to help.

What about you? Do you find it hard to say no to requests you know you can’t be able to fulfill?

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27 thoughts on “Forced Kindness Leave a comment

  1. One of the life lessons I’ve come to learn is that the response ‘no’ is not always a sign of rejection and neither does it always suggests negativity. Sometimes, that response is a prove of a person’s sincerity. At other times, it’s a blessing in disguise.

    I believe the motive behind what we say or do is as important as what we say/do (even when they are ‘positive’). Acts of kindness should stem from a willing heart and a ready hand. The essence of the act is defeated the minute my mind is not in tune with.

    This is a really profound piece. πŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Ayan. Good to know you acknowledge a “no” as a sign of sincerity and not always a negative. I believe if you ask someone for something they can afford and they say no, you’ll not take offence because you get this mind-set. But the problem is that most people will take offence, secretly or outright. Because of this experience people now promise, “I’ll do it” but at the bottom of their hearts, they’re already planning on how to dribble the asker by avoiding , delaying and disappointing at last. Why do they say yes in the first place? Because majority of the people, react negatively to “no” which to them means negative and “rejection”. So instead of saying no, they give them fake hope and to me this is worse.

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    • Truth be told, it’s hard to say no even in a situation whereby you’re not able to help. I lived my life in the past as a “Yes” person and most of the time it’s either to give out the last thing I had or what I couldn’t afford to give out. But one day, not quite long ago, I had to grow up and began to say no when I can’t afford what I’m being asked and since then, my life has been better. Thank you so much ash, for sharing.πŸ’–

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