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Live For Yourself!

What does it take to mend a broken heart?

How can someone heal from heartbreak?
Those were the questions a young girl asked me as I strode past her in the Chapel. I looked at her and the first thought that came to my mind was, Oh no! You’re too young to be talking about heartbreak! I did not say this out to her though, I only felt her pain. 
She was in a terrible situation, and her only hope seemed to be the Holy Eucharist.
To be sincere, I did not have a valid or straightforward answer to her question, but I suppose I should have told her to cry herself to sleep. I don’t know if this could have solved her problems but I know it solved and still heals all sorts of emotional pain that comes my way.  I did not want to tell a gloomy face to wail over her situation,  I did not want to leave her without a word of comfort either. Looking at her, she was already in a delirious state – a mass of pained mess!
So, I sat with her, and we stared at each other in silence for a while. She waited for my answer while I thought about a perfect way to begin.
So what happened? Why did this man leave you for another girl?
They were to get married and, this lady who claimed to be his girlfriend appeared from nowhere and scooped him off her hands and disappeared into thin air. 
What about the man, did he care to look back or try to explain?
No, he didn’t. He did not call or text to explain to her. She did not see or hear from him again, plus; he refused to pick her calls.
Well, the way I’m seeing it, that man does not deserve you. A man who couldn’t fight to protect what both of you shared is not worth your trouble. He does not care about your feelings or he would have called to comfort you, or to at least say sorry. You need someone who will treat you the way you ought to be treated and fight for and defend you and never leave you for anyone. He doesn’t deserve you.
She glared at me and I guessed she was wondering if that was my answer to her question and I hoped she understood it was a part of it. Before you heal, you must analyse the obvious and let go of what can never be.
Do you think he loves you?
She was not sure, but he cared about her so much that no day passed without adequate communication from him.
And now that she has taken him away, what do you think?
She thinks the other woman is making him forget her. If only she could get rid of ber, she would come back to her.
Wow!
So the blame goes to her and not to him?
Silence.
I found out she did not see any wrong in what he did. The lady was to be blamed for his actions.
Do you think he will come back to you?
I don’t know.
I don’t think he is the right person for you. The right man will come. You are young and beautiful. A man who meant for you will come. Go on with your normal life. Eat, dance, pray, sleep, study, Laugh, smile, cry if you have to, but keep living your happy life. With time, when you remember him, you won’t feel pain anymore. Keep coming to the Chapel, and put your mind to God and the future ahead of you.


——

I’m telling this story because it’s important to let whoever is passing through the same that life is not over. After all, someone who left your life does not mean that life is over. I know it’s hard to live with the pain of rejection but life is not over. Live for yourself. Think about yourself, your future, your well-being, your life goal and focus on your life.
When I hear of young adults who commit suicide. when the persons they love dump them I ask myself why. I guess it’s because they think that there is nothing to live for anymore. They don’t think that love can happen with someone else – that someone can fall in love over and over and over again.  Besides, I have seen people living successful life without a lover. It’s possible. There is always one person who love and live for, and that person yourself, myself.

Live for yourself even though you should also live for others who depend on you, do not allow anyone to wreck your emotional wellbeing. life.


—–

But how easy is it to forget someone you love?  It’s difficult. It takes a long time. Long, long time. How easy is it to move on?

 It is difficult and depends on the time it takes for you to come to terms with the fact that your egg has crushed and the content has leaked out, and that what you are holding is nothing but a useless shell — the milk has spilt and you what you are holding is nothing but an empty bottle. It is when you realize this that you will drop the shell or the empty bottle, dust your hands and walk away without looking back.

——

This Thing Called Love

A person drunk with love is a little crazy – is addicted. Love begins with seeing someone with a pleasing attribute and attitude. You long to see them more, be with them more, and so on. When a relationship is established, we feel good because we have them in our lives. Our brains work to make us keep wanting more of them by releasing feel-good hormones when we’re with them or think about them. When we lose whoever or whatever we love, the brain tries to keep us in the place where we feel happy and refuses to adjust to the new situation and accept the loss. In doing this, it releases stress hormones and the effect of these causes actual pain and makes one act a little crazy and lose interest in life as a whole. Life becomes dull and uninteresting.
You lose interest in day-to-day life and think that moving away from your place or the world is the key. But no matter where you go in this world, the mind keeps visiting the past. Moving on becomes hard.

You may not have control over the way your brain handles heartbreak, but you can train your mind to begin the healing process. Training the mind to come to terms with the fact that you have lost the person and there is no bringing him back. 

It takes time to get the mind to yield, but you need to try.
It could take weeks, months or years in chronic cases.  Heartbreak really sulks.

——-

Ways I Handle Heartbreak And Loss


1. I cry my way through every hurt. Just a few minutes to an hour of heart-wrenching cry. During that process, the pain and bitterness from the disappointment,  failure, rejection and loss, flow out through my tears. Cry if crying comes easy to you as it does to me. It’s better to cry over it than to brood. When I cry over something, I get hurtful feelings off my mind. 

Crying can heal. It’s relaxing

So when you can’t bear the pain anymore, wail and you will find out how relaxing it can feel in the end.

2. I Sit And Listen To The Spirit Of God


My greatest comforter is God. So, when my heart is broken, I visit the Chapel. There, I spend an hour in silence and listen for inspirations. I go home happy and energised in the end. God has always seen me through a lot. Through disappointments, through loss, through failure, name it. So When the tough gets too tough, I cry before him. He always has something better in the end.

3. I Talk To Others

I talk to my close persons. Family, friends etc. One person or two are enough. Good, positive and supportive people. Not just anyone.

4. I Exercise.

I don’t underestimate the power of exercise. It boosts my life and keeps me in high spirits. And beats every hurt down.



5. I Write
Writing is my love.
It can’t break my heart.

——-

Thank you for reading.
If you have a little time to spare, also  read this.

—–

What would you tell someone who asked you the same question she asked me?

Share your opinion in the comment section.

Florence Ezekafor View All

I'm a food scientist who has chosen the path of creative writing- the one thing which comes to me naturally.
Back in 2013, my love for teaching young learners propelled me into picking teaching as a career. I taught English, Maths and Science in the United Arab Emirates where I lived for ten years. Right now, I live in Coal City, a beautiful hilly area of my country Nigeria.
My website Fiez-writer is a product of my extreme desire to share my writing with the world. Here, I share fiction, poems, thoughts and writing tips.
A huge part of my life is spent with my lovely family and I'm a proud mother to three brilliant kids.

8 thoughts on “Live For Yourself! Leave a comment

  1. This is just perfect 🥺 Every point is so right and comforting ❤ Beautiful! Thank you so muchh for writing this. I’m sure God inspired you to write this article..to heal many hearts..💓 God bless you 💐😇 Now I know I can always come to read this post whenever I’m low ❤ I’m saving this post ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s deep wisdom in your words. No one is so important or has the right to destroy another’s person joy or peace of mind. The points you have shared on dealing with heartbreak can be really effective. Can feel this deep in the heart. Wonderfully written! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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