Category Archives: Living

Inspired Sunday – But For Grace

We tend to forget or ignore the power of grace in our lives and that it is only by grace that we are what we are.

Grace is everything, without it, life will be like chewing the rocks from within an inferno – unbearable. Everything we pass through, the difficulties, the losses and the pains we feel can wreck us, but grace lessens their effects on us. We pass through these difficult situations and come out stronger.

Grace picks us up from bed every morning, brings us sunshine and warmth and keeps us joyful. It takes us into the world and keeps us safe. So, we go out and we come back safe by grace. 

Grace feeds us, clothes us and shelters us. 

We look beautiful and pleasing all by it.

It takes us to a greater height and keeps us there where no one can bring us down.

When someone hurts you too badly, grace keeps us from hurting them back. Humans are prone to retaliation/revenge but by grace we forgive, we let go. 

We understand what is hard for others to understand and do what is hard for others to do.

Without grace we are nothing.

This grace does not come from anywhere. This grace flows from God’s love for us and like his love, it is eternal. 

So when we find yourselves struggling in life, when we are at the edge of giving up, when we think we are at a dead-end and there is no way out, we must remember that grace can see us through and that God gives this grace abundantly to anyone who asks him for it.

Happy Sunday to you.💖

Have a lovely week.😊

Wise Saying |A Ship In The Harbour Is Safe, But That’s Not What The Ship Is Made For – English Proverb

 For those who do not make it their permanent residence, the benefit of a comfort zone cannot be crossed out.

 When you stick to the dance style you have mastered or remain in the job you are well experienced in or drive the vehicle you are used to, you live without much stress. You are more confident because you are good at it already. You don’t need someone to ridicule you for an amateur performance or cast you away as inexperienced. Think of it, life is easier here. You are free from worries and terrors of new challenges and risks.

It serves as a winding-off region, a rejuvenating spot, where you recover yourself from all the stress, risk and discomforts of a normal life. So, the comfort zone shouldn’t be cast away, it should only be broadened by pushing its boundaries out from the other side, the side which is not the comfort zone. 

Now, imagine a strong, beautiful ship, full of potential which never left the harbour because the waters are rough. Imagine how weak and worthless that ship will eventually seem. 

The Comfort zone is the most pleasing place to be, yet the most ridiculous place to remain. Unfortunately, many are living for too long in different levels of a crippling comfort zone. Many are comfortable with the little amount they receive as a salary and sometimes live their entire lives doing one job and in one company they are comfortable working with — what you have is better than what you don’t have since a bird at hand is worth more than a million birds elsewhere right? Wrong.

The truth is that you do not know that you can add to the number of the birds in your hand and the only way to do that is to get out there, face the challenge and catching more.

 Exercise is an integral part of life but I have always wished I could live my life without a regular workout routine and be fine. Like a flickering light, I keep going on and off but because I know its significance, I break free from my comfort at least two or three times a week to do the thing that is important to my health. I must confess that doing this is one of the hardest things. 

 Sometimes What keeps you in your comfort zone is fear. You fear to take that first step like hell, just like a baby who would rather keep moving on its butt than take the first step, you remain where you are and do the things you feel safe doing.

Anxiety, fear of the unknown and thoughts that there is never a better place than where you are, keep you in the place of convenience and these things cost you growth and make fulfilling your potential impossible. You miss out on the rewards of trying a challenging or risky new activity when you hold back.

There is no better way to tackle a weakness than to come out of our comfort zone and there is no way to rejuvenate than revisiting it. This is where striking a balance comes in. You need to find a way to balance the equation of life. 

Like a traveller who takes some time off after a long hazardous journey, you need to sneak into your pampering, nurturing comfort zone sometimes, to get your sanity back and get back into your normal life, your normal life is not your comfort zone, your comfort zone is only a place you can recollect yourself.

What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with us.

Live For Yourself!

What does it take to mend a broken heart?

How can someone heal from heartbreak?
Those were the questions a young girl asked me as I strode past her in the Chapel. I looked at her and the first thought that came to my mind was, Oh no! You’re too young to be talking about heartbreak! I did not say this out to her though, I only felt her pain. 
She was in a terrible situation, and her only hope seemed to be the Holy Eucharist.
To be sincere, I did not have a valid or straightforward answer to her question, but I suppose I should have told her to cry herself to sleep. I don’t know if this could have solved her problems but I know it solved and still heals all sorts of emotional pain that comes my way.  I did not want to tell a gloomy face to wail over her situation,  I did not want to leave her without a word of comfort either. Looking at her, she was already in a delirious state – a mass of pained mess!
So, I sat with her, and we stared at each other in silence for a while. She waited for my answer while I thought about a perfect way to begin.
So what happened? Why did this man leave you for another girl?
They were to get married and, this lady who claimed to be his girlfriend appeared from nowhere and scooped him off her hands and disappeared into thin air. 
What about the man, did he care to look back or try to explain?
No, he didn’t. He did not call or text to explain to her. She did not see or hear from him again, plus; he refused to pick her calls.
Well, the way I’m seeing it, that man does not deserve you. A man who couldn’t fight to protect what both of you shared is not worth your trouble. He does not care about your feelings or he would have called to comfort you, or to at least say sorry. You need someone who will treat you the way you ought to be treated and fight for and defend you and never leave you for anyone. He doesn’t deserve you.
She glared at me and I guessed she was wondering if that was my answer to her question and I hoped she understood it was a part of it. Before you heal, you must analyse the obvious and let go of what can never be.
Do you think he loves you?
She was not sure, but he cared about her so much that no day passed without adequate communication from him.
And now that she has taken him away, what do you think?
She thinks the other woman is making him forget her. If only she could get rid of ber, she would come back to her.
Wow!
So the blame goes to her and not to him?
Silence.
I found out she did not see any wrong in what he did. The lady was to be blamed for his actions.
Do you think he will come back to you?
I don’t know.
I don’t think he is the right person for you. The right man will come. You are young and beautiful. A man who meant for you will come. Go on with your normal life. Eat, dance, pray, sleep, study, Laugh, smile, cry if you have to, but keep living your happy life. With time, when you remember him, you won’t feel pain anymore. Keep coming to the Chapel, and put your mind to God and the future ahead of you.


——

I’m telling this story because it’s important to let whoever is passing through the same that life is not over. After all, someone who left your life does not mean that life is over. I know it’s hard to live with the pain of rejection but life is not over. Live for yourself. Think about yourself, your future, your well-being, your life goal and focus on your life.
When I hear of young adults who commit suicide. when the persons they love dump them I ask myself why. I guess it’s because they think that there is nothing to live for anymore. They don’t think that love can happen with someone else – that someone can fall in love over and over and over again.  Besides, I have seen people living successful life without a lover. It’s possible. There is always one person who love and live for, and that person yourself, myself.

Live for yourself even though you should also live for others who depend on you, do not allow anyone to wreck your emotional wellbeing. life.


—–

But how easy is it to forget someone you love?  It’s difficult. It takes a long time. Long, long time. How easy is it to move on?

 It is difficult and depends on the time it takes for you to come to terms with the fact that your egg has crushed and the content has leaked out, and that what you are holding is nothing but a useless shell — the milk has spilt and you what you are holding is nothing but an empty bottle. It is when you realize this that you will drop the shell or the empty bottle, dust your hands and walk away without looking back.

——

This Thing Called Love

A person drunk with love is a little crazy – is addicted. Love begins with seeing someone with a pleasing attribute and attitude. You long to see them more, be with them more, and so on. When a relationship is established, we feel good because we have them in our lives. Our brains work to make us keep wanting more of them by releasing feel-good hormones when we’re with them or think about them. When we lose whoever or whatever we love, the brain tries to keep us in the place where we feel happy and refuses to adjust to the new situation and accept the loss. In doing this, it releases stress hormones and the effect of these causes actual pain and makes one act a little crazy and lose interest in life as a whole. Life becomes dull and uninteresting.
You lose interest in day-to-day life and think that moving away from your place or the world is the key. But no matter where you go in this world, the mind keeps visiting the past. Moving on becomes hard.

You may not have control over the way your brain handles heartbreak, but you can train your mind to begin the healing process. Training the mind to come to terms with the fact that you have lost the person and there is no bringing him back. 

It takes time to get the mind to yield, but you need to try.
It could take weeks, months or years in chronic cases.  Heartbreak really sulks.

——-

Ways I Handle Heartbreak And Loss


1. I cry my way through every hurt. Just a few minutes to an hour of heart-wrenching cry. During that process, the pain and bitterness from the disappointment,  failure, rejection and loss, flow out through my tears. Cry if crying comes easy to you as it does to me. It’s better to cry over it than to brood. When I cry over something, I get hurtful feelings off my mind. 

Crying can heal. It’s relaxing

So when you can’t bear the pain anymore, wail and you will find out how relaxing it can feel in the end.

2. I Sit And Listen To The Spirit Of God


My greatest comforter is God. So, when my heart is broken, I visit the Chapel. There, I spend an hour in silence and listen for inspirations. I go home happy and energised in the end. God has always seen me through a lot. Through disappointments, through loss, through failure, name it. So When the tough gets too tough, I cry before him. He always has something better in the end.

3. I Talk To Others

I talk to my close persons. Family, friends etc. One person or two are enough. Good, positive and supportive people. Not just anyone.

4. I Exercise.

I don’t underestimate the power of exercise. It boosts my life and keeps me in high spirits. And beats every hurt down.



5. I Write
Writing is my love.
It can’t break my heart.

——-

Thank you for reading.
If you have a little time to spare, also  read this.

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What would you tell someone who asked you the same question she asked me?

Share your opinion in the comment section.

“There is divine beauty…”

I’m inspired by this beautiful quote. Learning is an important part of living for people of all ages and all works of life. We keep learning. We never stop.

Image by Comfreak from Pixabay “There is divine beauty in learning… To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps… I am the sum total of their experiences, their quests. And so are you.” ― Elie Wiesel

“Their is divine beauty…”

Happy New Year!

In the past, my folks had the ritual of chasing the passing year away with gunshots, bonfire and angry shouts. Folks dwelt on the unpleasant events of the passing year and wished history didn’t repeat itself, even though I knew that such unpleasant event were highly possible in the coming year in a different magnitude.

In those days, few minutes before midnight of 31st December, the entire community would be filled with voices casting the passing year away. Afo gbarakwa aka laba oooo ( voices urging the passing year in Igbo to go away with an empty hand…)

I always imagined the year reluctantly hastening away, with an unhappy face and a scowl as someone being exiled. I imagined a new a brand new year, shining, smiling and gloriously coming towards us, with goodies of all kinds. I also imagined how sad it would look at the end of the year when it would be cast away with an empty handed.

2020 makes the previous years before it look like saints and the ones after it, untrustworthy. But 2020 has something good about it as well. We only need to put covid-19 behind to see them.

Every year has it’s challenges, 2021 is no exception, and we should prepare our minds to face the challenges. It could be mild, it could be severe but what matters is our positive attitude, which we need to cope.

Fiez-writer