Wanting is human and it’s part and parcel of being successful. If you don’t want, you won’t have. If you don’t want to be a football player, you won’t be. If you don’t want to be financially stable, you won’t be. If you don’t want to get a better paying job, you remain in that low paying job for as long as you live.
You find out that getting or having depends on wanting. That’s the fact.
It’s not enough to want, you need to desire and desire earnestly.
Most of the things we truly want are beyond our reach because they’re always the best out there. Everyone wants the best out of life. So we need to reach out to have them.
So it’s hard sometimes to have what we want and desire.
No doubt there are things out of those things we want which we can afford to buy or have someone to give to us.
But there are things we can’t afford to buy and do not have anyone to give us. We keep them in our minds and dream about them hoping our dreams will one day come true.
Now, there are things we want which do require a process to achieve and when we follow that process carefully, we achieve them.
These things are not like the beautiful clothes hanging in the fashion store or mansions waiting for a rich guy like you to go to.
These things I’m talking about require a process like this:
– you probably don’t have what it takes to have it
– but you want it
– and you desire it
– you are determined to have it
– your focus is on it
– you work hard to have it and probably have to do what you’ve not done before
– you keep being patient as you wait for things to work out
– you try again and again until your persistence pays.
It could be a particular high-level job or something bigger than you from financial point of view. It could be you desire a particular profession or occupation you know nothing about. It could be just anything good you want which seems humanly impossible but can make your life better.
You can go for it if its the best for you.
All you need to do is follow the words of William J. Locke;
“I can tell you how to get what you want; you just have to keep a thing in view and never let your eyes wander to the right or left, or up or down. And looking back is fatal”
As you want, remember that want is insatiable. It extends to the end of the world and stretches beyond the sky. The less you want the better.
Sometimes we want this time and the next thing we don’t want that anymore but we want something we left that same thing for. That’s human want for you.
Want but want less.
Sometimes I go to mega-market for example and see thousands and one thing I want and could probably afford to buy, but because I shouldn’t have them all even though I desire them with all my heart, I walk close to them and feel them close to me, I admire them earnestly but give them a pat on the shoulder and walk away – without them.
It takes a lot of self-control to be able to do that.
You want them, we desire them, but we can’t have them all. Life will be too miserable to have all we want and desire.
You should want to have enough to keep you comfortable to have a good life. If your wanting gets out of control, your happiness could be jeopardised.
Our brains need systematic reboot just like the computers and as often as is neededful. The term reboot might sound technical but then our brains are the best computers money can’t buy and it’s high time we pressed the reset button when when we begin to lose our minds.
We tend to forget how fuzzy thoughts can become when the brain is not refreshed or rebooted. Oftentimes, our brains get all messed up in a way. We feel crazy – like we’re losing our minds due to the accumulated needless, distracting and interfering thoughts in our minds. Sometimes we get irritated and angry because of this. We find it hard to think straight or properly. If only we could realize at that point that we need to unwind and reboot the central nervous system to feel alright.
What Can Brain Reboot Do For Us?
Brain reboot helps us to get rid of those irrelevant deflecting thoughts that distract us when we really need to focus on the thought that matters or task at hand.
It refreshes the brain and prepares it to function more effectively.
If you often get confused or carried away because of interference of wrong or irrelevant messages from the brain, it’s time to reboot your brain.
It could be that your negative thoughts and emitions are eating up your brain or your brain is so stressed as a result of multitasking – your brain is fuzzy and you can’t think right, it’s time to reboot your brain.
Ways You Can Reboot Your Brain
▪ Get a quality sleep
A quality sleep works well to refresh the mind. When you get a sound sleep, you feel like a new born baby and you feel so calm and relaxed. You feel peace in your head until thought begin to come in. To get a quality sleep you need to detach yourself from your electronic device 30 minutes before sleep especially your TV and phone. The phone is a huge no no around your bedroom. It’s the best distraction you can get at any time.
▪ Meditate daily
Meditation is a sure way to reboot your brain. Take some few minutes to reset your mind with this awesome relaxing activity.
Have you ever noticed that after exercising you feel very fresh and cool headed? Try daily exercising. You don’t need rigorous exerciseee to achieve this. A simple 20 minutes exercise even as simple as walking the dog, playing outdoor games with your kids, hiking, playing tennis or swimming can do a lot to reboot the brain.
▪ Positive emotion
Your thoughts connects with your emotions and this effects the way you react to certain situations. When you dwell more on positive emotions like joy, peace, patience, hope, gratitude, love and every other positive emotions, you’ll be able to to keep your mind and reaction calm and peaceful. This doesn’t mean you should avod negative emotions altogether – by the way it’s hard to avoid them. You only need to pass through them quickly so they don’t blow your thinking pattern. When you feel anger, try focusing a positive emotion like amusement to get you quickly out of it.
▪ Listen to relaxing music
Listening to music aids with learning and can help us to concentrate more. The feel-good chemical released during misic refreshes us. Listening to the music we love can reduce our stress and help us think well.
▪ Time in nature
As a writer, I find spending time in nature very relaxing. It boosts my concentration, positivity and creativity. There is nothing more relaxing than spending time in nature. You can talk a walk outside in a serene environment to connect with our natural habitat. The evenings are the best for me, 4 pm to 6pm.
▪ Check the food you eat
There are foods that are not good for our brain function. Foods that put the gut lining in bad condition. The brain function better when the gut does. Find out what you can do to fix your gut. Make sure you eat healthy.
How often should you reboot your brain?
Brain reboot should be done daily and effectively during sleep, exercise, meditation and so on. One good thing about the our body is that it warns us when something is not going well. Always check for the signs and reboot.
Your brain is your thinking power. The better it works, the more productive and creative you become. Pay attention to it and know when it needs to be rebooted.
Lots of unimaginable things have happened to unsuspecting people to make them assemble a strong barrier round their trusts and most of the time whisper to their souls when trusting calls, ‘trust no one!’
No doubt about the betrayals and cheatings and deceits and stabs in the backs – which are prevalent in most our societies. However, we still need trust to coexist.
Do not believe in the saying ‘Trust no one’.
Some people are guided by this principle to the extent that everyone in their circle of life is a suspect. That’s why some men and women investigate their spouses even without any sign they’re cheating on them.
Some are guided by this principle because it’s hard for them, after a terrible life experience, to trust again but you know when we find trusting people hard because someone in their circle betrayed our trust, we can’t do anything fruitful with them – we have serious problems.
These people need us to trust them
We owe them our trusts and we have no option than to trust them because our lives without trust can be uncomfortable if not hazardeous.
We need to trust them until we find them unworthy of our trusts. Even at that we need to trust someone else in their circle when one fails us.
All people are not the same
It’s possible to distrust everyone in a family, country, community, circle because our minds are biased against them die to a terrible trusting experience.
A man cheated or abandoned by his spouse might conclude that all women are the same and distrust all women. Likewise, it’s possible for a lady to distrust all men because of her bad experience with one man.
This doesn’t have to be so.
Everyone is not the same. All men are not the same, All women are not the same. All companies are not the same and all banks are not the same.
There are still good people out there and there are still people who can be trusted. A lot of them.
There should be balance between being careful and trusting
Even though I think it’s wise to be careful with people to outsmart cheats, scammers and the likes, we shouldn’t do it in such a way that person begins to suspect we don’t trust them.
There are situations when someone who had betrayed his trust will need you to give him a second chance, it depends on you to decide if you can risk trusting again and it depends on the relationship. But in that it case, it’s hard.
Do Not ‘Over-Trust’ Anyone
A married man once asked a single lady out on a date. The lady knew he was married and asked him what if your wife finds out? He replied, “my wife overtrusts me and will never find out.”
That’s exactly why some marriages have lasted long. You just have to close both eyes in trust. So, overtrusting in marriage to me it’s okay if someone ever wants to remain married, you just have to choose to be a complete nincompoop to keep going. Love is blind.
In other cases, we need to trust people but not overdo it. It calls for caution. Be careful with how you trust people. Do not trust them with everything.
Do not be guided by the saying, ‘trust no one’
We need to trust people for them to participate positively in our lives.
Do not overdo trust. Be careful in trust and look out for a bad sign.
If it demand that you close both eyes in trust, keep one eye open. Do not be fooled.
There were times when I thought that lying was a survival mechanism and and human tool for sustainance – you know, but that’s an illusion.
I’ve grown up now. I have kids in my surrounding to show the right path of life. That’s just by the way.
Have you ever lied?
Whenever this question comes up, people tend to avoid it because first of all why should should someone in their right senses ask someone that is human if he or she has ever lied.
The asker should have know that we all people are like fish in the water, no matter what happens, people can’t escape the water and live. Right?
Are there exceptions? Like fishes who can survive without water?
Despite the above statement, I believe there are people who are free from this very lying habit.
I can tell you how.
You are no liar when no one knows you as one.
In other words, no one has caught you with a lie.
You are different from a known liar or a notorious liar.
A notorious liar is a habitual liar who can lie everytime even in the face of the truth – when the truth is obvious and this liar can get everyone to listen and believe a lie.
If you’re an African, you’ve probably heard the statement, “You can lie for Africa.”
Maybe, just maybe you’ve heard about this utterance but do not know about the the possible connotation.
I’ve been opportune to catch some younsters using the abusive statement in Nigeria. I think you might want to listen to the meaning according to the youngsters.
“What does it mean to lie for Africa?”
“When lie comes easily to someone, you say that the person can lie for Africa–“
“If someone tells a lie which is easily detectable — A liar who can lie even when he knows he has no opportunity to lie – that people already know the truth. Yet, this person goes ahead to tell a lie in spite of the obvious and glaring truth—” 👌👍
“The person who can lie for Africa, can out of all the African liars be the best liar – like if there is a lying contest, this person could take the trophy home as the champion —-” 🤗😀 this one got me laughing hard.
I’m not sure if this statement and it’s meaning is of general African usage or just my Nigerian “abusive” statement. In any case, I only want to make a point with it.
People lie – and some lies are more dangerous than the others
We have those fibs we think it’s nothing and there are big, fat lies. They are all lies.
Research has it that 60% of lies happen during normal conversations when people try to appear likeable and eligible. Just a little lie here and there to polish the “imperfect story, ” to be perfect and pleasing to the ear.
People lie for so many reasons
People lie to escape punishment
People lie to appear likeable
People lie to fit in
People lie to appear competent
People lie to hide their little or big secrets
People lie to polish their real stories- they exaggerated to make it more appealing or more grievous.
You ask yourself, why would someone want to lie for the above reasons when the truth is likely to come out eventually? Is it not more competent to tell the truth and suffer the consequences? Is it not more honourable?
Who are the victims of these lies
To make matters worse, sometimes, the victims do not find out they’re being lied to until later in life, if ever they everfind out.
No Lie Is A good Lie – Somene somehow gets hurt in the process.
A quote From John Grisham’s ‘The Client’
“It’s amazing how lies grow. You start with a small one that seems easy to cover, then you get boxed in and tell another one. Then another. People believe you at first, then they act upon your lies, and you catch yourself wishing you’d simply told the truth” John Grisham
“Do Not Lie”
Do not lie to friends or family
The last person you will want to lie to is the person who expects the truth and nothing but the truth from you, someone who will never throw you away because you told the truth – especially friends and family. Not that it’s good to lie to others but these are the people you take lie far away from. It’s an advice.
When friends or family gather, they gather based on trust and when that trust is breached, loopholes are created. Relationship gaps are initiated, before you know it, the bond is broken and the relationship is history
You can commit more grievous offence other than a lie behind a friend and once you come out with the truth and apologise, the friend is likely to forgive. Confessing and apologising can wipe away your wrong before them and even if they don’t forgive, the trust you and nothing strengthens a relationship more than trust based on truth.
But when you commit a little offence and lie about it, the friend can’t trust you anymore.
Just tell one lie and ruin your relationship.
Do Not Lie To An Employer
When I see some people tell a lie on their resume, I wonder why they should do that.
Because an employer says he wants a candidate between the age of 35 – 40 is not the reason why you should increase your age or refuse it to fit in. Tell them your age and tell them the reason why you can do better than those in that age bracket.
Some applicants do not have the needed skills that they claim. Some use a forged certificate to get a good paying jobs. They succeed only for a while and get kicked out the truth comes up.
Truth can’t be buried for long, it can only stay under the earth for a while. One day, probably after a long time, when you aren’t expecting, it brings out it’s hand, as youre trying frantically to cover it’s hand the leg comes out, then the head, then the mouth opens. Once the mouth opens, you’re done – game over.
Do Not Lie In Court
Why do the innocent people go to jail while the guilty ones go free? People tell lie in court to cover the truth and if we can stop that lie,
To be lied to feels very bad. Terrible and no one likes it.
Its better to tell the truth and be hated than to live a fake life built on lies.
Do Not Lie To Protect
People think it’s honourable to lie for a friend. A friend commits an offence say, rape, and you offer him a protection in the form of a lie told to the people whose duty is to bring justice.
That’s not the right thing to do.
In the case above, you’re supposed to make sure the victim gets justice and your friend gets his due verdict. Such act is not coverable. It’s not the kind you say, hey, I love you girl, let me cover for you. I can do it for you. What are friends for? Friends protect each other right?
The real love you should for anyone is making sure they’re in their best behaviour – look out for any bad behaviour and talk them out of it. If you’re the good one, they must follow your step or your separate ways. Light and darkness can’t coexist neither do good and evil.
You can live without lying. Can’t you?
Easier said than done, right?
It probably is, but I still believe there are people who don’t lie.
Be among them.
If they are 2% of the world’s populace, squeeze yourself in there. Be among them. Be homourable.
To do this you need to first of all understand how hurtful a lie can be.
You dont want to be lied to, then dont lie to anyone.
What Happens To People Who Avoid Lies
They earn themselves some enemies and some good friends as well.
It’s one funny thing about the world, if you lie, some people will avoid you, if you tell the truth, some people will avoid you as well. Go ahead an tell the truth or keep quiet if keeping quiet is the wise thing to do.
Make it a habit to tell the truth.
Instead of telling a lie, keep quiet – let no lie out
The truth will surely come out someday and when it does, you’ll feel very awful – lifetime regret.